well-welcome-to-my-dark-sercet-world

2011-12-29T02:41:00.002+08:00

I have no idea why i'm even here... but somehow... i am..
well since the last entry..it's been THAT long... i doubt anyone will come here anymore..might as well all the more i can blog about it and let it be a little pricate space...well since the last post..millions of things hav been happening.. i'm in the army..i myself have changed.. more of a realist than a pesimist now...but i guess it's pretty much all the same. On another note...today isthe 29 of dec 2011... marks the last few days till the end of the year.. it's really been a year of battling inner demons, hopes, dreams and stuff that's really personal... cause as i'm serving now...i'm basically on auto pilot mode, which i have a lot of time to myself. Honestly, i was really lost.. i could not find any future, any hope, or anything to hold on to as a matter of fact..i have no clue where to go.. what's the next move, what's the plan... it's always constantly on my mind..and so many questions..but little answers or enlightenment..i was always frustrated, always depress. However.. time pass.. i don't know when.. i got tired..tired of standing still, tired of being depress, tired of being lost..i want it to be where i used to be...full of spunk. full of ideas..full of hope. sense of where to go... i guess friends, family help a little..but mostly i think it's personal attitute.. i'm not really a fighter..but i'm not yet a quitter.. i'm still young, i still can learn, i still have determination.. and i guess serving does help a little.. it gives me some fighting spirit back.. well it still been a constant struggle out of being jaded, being depress..but things seem to be better.. everyday i'm finding new hope..things to pick me up.. little by little.. finding the strength to carry on..and living the moment..like a used to.

2010-01-02T14:47:00.001+08:00

sigh.

2010-01-02T03:40:00.003+08:00

can't trust people is one thing...
but when you can't trust yourself...
it is so much worse....
the state i'm in now is very very bleak...
this is bad...real bad...
i can't even tell whether things are real, or just surreal...

tell me what to do......
i need...

2009-12-28T02:19:00.002+08:00

they say...more people die in the holidays...for a fucking good reason...
this month...basically living in turmoil...for me...there is so much to take it in....i was bloody overwhelmed man.....and i must say...this year...i thought that a lot of things will be possible...but honestly...this year..was one of the most disappointing year i ever had...cause every year...you look back , you thought hey..at least i achieve something...but this year...no matter in what, studies..family, personally...i failed...i could not take the heat...though it was not bad....but it was very very disappointing... this year...i have to say like every other year...learn more stuff about myself...and i do manage to regain some touch that i once had...but not completely....this made me realize something....the road ahead is going to be very tough...with the a levels..it's going to be hell already. So...whatever this whole shit i am in. whatever this whole thing is going...i have to move forward like for real this time, i am still finding myself...but maybe just maybe..the picture becomes clearer..i do really hope for next year...i can break new grounds...found my lost self again...and win whatever that is i am trying to win...
the new year i really do hope something good can happen...
cause i don't think i can last anymore....all i am left with is this last ray of hope...

2009-12-13T02:32:00.001+08:00

how easy does it take for anyone to say...i have nothing but hope...
it is too late for me?
or i can still open the door...
it's kind of hard when you are thinking like me...

2009-12-08T04:06:00.000+08:00

splendid holiday season...everyone seems to enjoy themselves..
fuck the world.

2009-12-06T17:05:00.005+08:00

this week was a speed bullet week..basically i really don't know what the fuck this week was about anyways..everything came in blitz..i it's really very hard and tired to take it all in..was i guess it was fun, well usually when everything is over and you look back, it really doesn't mean anything anyway..i always asked my friends to do so much for me...yet i can't really do much for them...
don't ask yourself what people can do for you, but what you can do for people...
i'll try my best and i won't let you brothers down.
sometimes...you just have to take the pain in...savior it..and enjoy the torture it inflicts on you. =)

2009-12-04T03:50:00.003+08:00

. a sense of spunk..
.the carefree spirit, bohemian i should call it.
.sophistication, yet a touch of inner child.
yea...things that i tell myself...and it's so much more than this.

2009-12-04T00:03:00.001+08:00

even though the world is never fair....
that does not mean people like us have to suffer...
of all the 7.5 billion people...
haix...it's over.

2009-11-27T21:15:00.002+08:00

things i should really do before the year ends...
.physical training
.start doing all the bloody holiday homework.
.brush up on my language, next year gp would be horrendous.
.improve my musical skills in any way, might be needing it.
.trying to be patrick jane, hey i read all those psychology books, they have to be put into good use.
.repay my sins...by not sinning..( for i have sinned.)
.brace myself and prepare to be an ogl...if i'm selected.

well happy holidays it has been...
looking forward to next week...chalet and prom. nice.

2009-11-05T02:41:00.001+08:00

honestly speaking..after all this time..i don't really know you..but i really want to.

2009-11-02T03:37:00.002+08:00

it's interesting how the enviornment change you...3 good years ago...it seems so unstoppable, seems so reckless.. soo thrilling..i still remember those times when i really really wasn't using much of my brain...and i was glad that i never need to use much?? things were more spontaneous, and without thinking, i always made the best choice ever.

Now, everything changes..
i have to basically use my brain to think, to ponder, to calculate..so many shit hole things for god knows how many times a day? academics is one thing..daily important decisions is another. ( Did i screw up? Was that THE best thing to do? What should i do next? ) and when i was tired and TRIED the method of doing things on impulse and recklessness...confirm screw up big big time...
if i can recall...the last time i did something on impulse..totally screwed me..well not really..but still lol.
see this is what happens when you can't really find your own identity?
i think i lost mine...the worst part...when people ask me who i am....
jordan never came up to mine...
nope it's not just a name...it's not just some alter ego either..
It should be something that represents me...
somehow...it just never did..
teenagers..we should use our POWER OF YOUTH and FIERY SPIRITS and dash forward or something...
and here i am finding out who i am...
that is darn stupid....
this holidays is mundane already.
when any case..after a long hiatus...i actually exercise today.
jogging...i reached my target..around the neighborhood one round...
it really is a long distance...sure more than 2.4..
but after that i almost died.lol
but i guess it's a good thing..two birds in one stone.
the pull up dream sure did motivate me...
i dreamt that i could do 4 pull ups. When i can do none.
well haha..long way to go dude...
i think i would need ukimono..

haha..what does it really mean by all i've got.
interesting concept...
plan.

2009-10-28T02:23:00.002+08:00

the pain of nothing to do..
always bothers you when you have the holidays..well should be going back to time zone to work next week..it is a trade off..so as much as i dislike to work there, oh well..
my feelings have become very distorted.but i still manage to follow through.
well saw ming bridges in real person ytd, she had some accompany from London i guess.
i must say she look drop dead gorgeous. i cant believe she is 17..lik really? damm..
was at vivo..after the tedious hike..oh well it was kind of fun...but never went for the cip today.
The whole world is busy with work and studies..it's kind of sad that you are alone to savor the moment. In any case...promo result was a pass, but very badly done..very disappointing..but at least i got through..( i had to). haix..i feel very very restless...having no faith to follow something through is a very painful thing. To tell the truth, i have no guts or courage to keep things real, i mean with all these chaos and things..it's very hard.it's the problem with me... oh for god sake, if liking someone is hard..loving someone proves to be harder..arhhhhh sucks. but i guess i should not be too reserved about how i should approach, but i should also not be too open and fire all the way with it. haix..
i feel so stupid, but i think i might really like you.

2009-10-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

i am going to fall deep deep...
i want to see how far i can go..
just how far.

2009-10-20T03:01:00.002+08:00

i think humans should really live by two rules...
live simple,live free.
hell hard it is....
i think i'm living in the devil's pitfall...
there is a reason whyyy it's called a pitfall...
see, see, seeeeee it's not your called jordan...firstly, you can't afford it...most likely die...
secondly... to achieve happiness...you inflicting so much pain...
then again...why bother so much??? if my friend has the courage...then screw it.
after all...you know what they say...rather die like a man than not trying to.
oh you should see the face...soon.

2009-10-16T22:49:00.001+08:00

There's nothing else that i can say...

2009-10-16T01:21:00.003+08:00

it's about time that i have to learn to walk on your own....
people don't care whether i'm alive or die anyway
the world will spin anyways...
arh what the heck...screw the world...
fuck the things that i used to believe in anyway...
the world is just that ugly anyway...dark corrupted..
shannon was right...he did warn me about it before....
oh well, time to get up, get out.
can't believe i hold it that long...
i'm done.with all of this.

2009-10-10T00:34:00.003+08:00

i'm kind of lazy to real express out all the frustrations i have..so i guess using one word will do..

boomz

someone...please..please rip my skin off inside out?
i feel very irritated, frustrated with myself...

2009-10-07T18:12:00.000+08:00

cheers ppl up..=)

2009-10-01T03:11:00.003+08:00

it is 3 am on thu morning...
i cannot sleep...
fuck...thats why i am here....
yesss.i cant sleep...
probably..chem and econs has been freaking me out...
surprising..not math...
on two more weeks mon...i so gonna go out...i dun care where or do what...
i want to celebrate the end of my misery paper...hoho
in the mean time...preparation was 80
percent....so hoho...ok bar....
in any case....really need the game face,...
GAME FACE!

in any case....get it done.do it well.have a nice ending. so i can rest and enjoy in peace...please..
just let me promote..yea yea...

i want summer..i love summer..give me summer...=(

2009-09-27T02:57:00.003+08:00

sometimes...i really just am nothing but talk...
i say all this magnificent game plan..or goals..or things that i would achieve...
in the end...they were all just empty dreams...vacant hopes... hollow determinations...
time and time...i failed myself....
i am sick of all this too...
i want to change...
i want to have the feeling...of putting everything i have and take my best shot...
i have never done that before....
the feeling you have, when you felt like you have nothing left...
and the only thing you can do..is to fight for it...
fight like it would be the last thing you will ever do...
fight like all hope is lost and that is your only hope.
in 5 days time...
i want to let this be the final grand challenge i would ever face at this moment..
and for all you know....from now on...
whatever i say i would do it... i WILL DO IT...
let this be a prove to all, a testimony,
if you want something really bad...
you have to fight for it..like this is your life...
i don't really believe in god...
but with the little belief i have...
may i do my best..and let me be blessed.
my last shot...
it's now or never, do or die..
breaking the boundaries and all limits..
i'm ready to go all out this time.

may i feel alive again. it's the last chance.

2009-09-10T01:19:00.002+08:00

just finish watching the bachelor rome...it happen to be the last episode whr the prince choose his princess ( he really is a prine in rome btw..) so after watching the show i lot of thoughts run through my head...somehow..

ok first point. this show is really sadist.. somehow it does not inflict physical pain...but of course much worse...emotional pain..so the main guy lorenzo was down to the last two girls... Sadie and Jennifer.. of course after months and weeks of all the other 25 girls and the dates the time that they have..it was down to the last two. at this point of time, both girls are deeply in love with lorenzo, and both surely gave their hearts to him...always knowing that there was another girl he might choose..but they still gave it all in. and during the time, when lorenzo rejects sadie..my that was heartbreaking... picture this..you are sadie now...you tot you would be the one, and deeply emotional to the guy..and in the end..he tells you..you are not the one.. that kind of pain..only she knows...definitely unthinkable.. so i mean the show is really a sadist...i mean giving false hope to ppl and crashing it up might possibly be the worst kind of thing that can happen to your life..and with that kind of pain...i can say hoho..gg

in another perspective, lorenzo might seem to be the happiest guy now...you are the prince, choosing from 25 girls and one would be the ONE....oooooooooooooo definitely best shit right?
but as you get along..you notice you have deep feelings for both girls....and you know very well you have to choose one...and by choosing one, you have to reject the other...( yes oh come on...be real now shall we?) and it definitely feel bad...for him...that kind of feeling to reject someone who gives you her all...everything.. you know you had to be responsible...and when you know you made that choice. it can be pretty painful..

another interesting fact i notice...well recently i'm into the whole mentalist thing ( yes that USA top tv series with simon baker? brilliant actor) which you kind to predict the body language and minor details..? so i tot it would be fun to predict whether sadie or Jennifer would be the girl that lorenzo would choose...so the first 45 mins of the show...they show that the time the both girls share they moments with lorenzo...and i tot Sadie might be the girl? like from the way they talk to each other, the kiss and everything( sadie and lorenzo had a more passionate kiss than jennifer lo...) and in the end he choose jennifer.. so it brings me to this point.. love sometimes you cant really judge or guage or something that can be speculate..it's something that is always there,but somehow..you know you cant get hold of it...
or maybe the other point is that the body language thing is bullshit..or maybe i still noob at seeing..

so? a food for thought... wheres your other half tonight?

2009-09-07T23:53:00.001+08:00

"I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love."
F. Sagan

2009-09-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

with this hand,i will lift your sorrows..
and may your cup will never be empty, for i will be your wine

2009-09-05T00:40:00.002+08:00

worlds apart, that don't collide...
best analogy man....
in any case the whole week was very lethargic for me....my irregular sleeping hours had caught up with me so bad....
sleep at 2...wake at 7...den afternoon slp till 7pm...at night cant sleep.....
even weekends i don't have a good night sleep... -_-
sian it started from sec 2 till nw....oh man...next time should try sleep at 8 pm or stm...den wake at 7am...sure shiok one...

so many movies i want to watch but don't have the time or the companion....sian...or well wait 1 plus month nia....

in the mean time...i had to use the sep holiday super wisely..if not i this year sure go NS....
even if there is such a dreadful possibility...i believe i will experience jc2 alright....though sudden bad de javus been hunting me real bad.
in any case...just study lo....not like a hav anything to lose anyways...hoho...dun tell me i can't last for a month?? that would be a joke..
in any case...a have to endure the mundane and the boredomness of my life now...but i guess you reap what you sow...tahan and i will see paradise damm soon....( not in the morbid way....damm i'm a pessimist )

in any case work hard all...and we'll all hang out soonnn..i hope.

finally i found this very interesting picture....it sort of reminds me what happen when the movie 'UP' failed and the old guy's balloons got burst.

hope my balloons don't burst.

2009-09-03T21:11:00.000+08:00

hahaha....well the days have been pretty mundane...but i still can cope with it...
somehow i need to start having some quality time with de class boys...hoho...
in any case one month left...i shld do very realistic time table to suit my needs...
well things should be going smoothly...provided i dun procrastinate..
in any case...after the exams...so many things to do!
i will so look forward to it....woosh

2009-08-29T00:48:00.002+08:00

well this week was rather enriching....cause the process of learning is very very exciting....well sort of....in any case. i just hope that i can keep up the momentum of things now..
it's always been very interesting that i beginning to understand the profound nature of the human mind...been reading a book about how our minds decieves us and how it works..and it's really very interesting...( look whose gonna become patrick jane now! HA ).. in any case..pretty mind blowing stuff..
sometimes...when you do so much so someone...you just need to understand that you should expect nothing in return...heartless nature they may be...in the end..at most you just wash your hands of it.

2009-08-22T00:48:00.002+08:00

well first things first..
oppisee daisy...looks like my 'flu' quite power hor....shall not elaborate...

and well preparing for promos is one thing...but i guess it will pretty work out...everything that is...

sigh....sometime i just spend my days thinking....and thinking....whether i can actually last that long....mentality is really one very interesting thing..just when you tot you could not last..hoho..you could...and that really isn't helping....i noe...nth really is helping anyway...but still nth i can do about it...so i'll just let it bothers me...

and i hav the most awesome fantastic dream even this week....
i dreamt that i was in paris..france...it was damm shiok taking pictures and all...
(somemore that place was a mixture of all the euroupean countries..but what the heck)
cause i saw nicole tong facebook...wow she really lived her life....travelling around....
this is the time you wish you was very very very rich...oh well i will be someday! HA...

in any case...i'll go read my book anyway....and i will fucking do work tmr...40 plus days to promos...-_-

oh angelina...you're the sun and the moon....

2009-08-10T00:51:00.005+08:00

Sun rays come down as seen
when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around
till they fall down down down.

I wait for you: it's been two hours now,
You're still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.

I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate
waiting around 'round 'round,

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.

And then you come and tell me
the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.

Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum,
doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum,
da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine,
of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.


a song that can run in your head for one week....
and i notice i have mental problem..
it's like you know when you traveling alone?
to school for meeting your friends?
you would put on ur i pod or music right???
i put it on all the time...
but there are times when you don't have your music on?
then this strange and weird thing happen...
i start to talk to myself...
i could keep hearing my own thoughts
and all about everything and anything around me.
yes i may be clinically ill...very very ill...
in any case...studying proves to be not not productive...
i slack the whole week... and in any case..
i got very super jumpy this whole week..
i get anxiety and panic
like that...

okok...i need find some peace and solemn
before i start talking to myself...
cause i tink...the voice is getting louder and louder...
but...by writing this blog..
.i am talking to myself..am i not??
fuck lar...i really going mad.

2009-08-07T23:57:00.000+08:00

i am lost.
like a river dun noe whr it flows...
like a person reaching at the crossroads...
oh i just really want to free my soul..
ohh and i just want to give it up right now..

i lost my sense of direction..
i lost my heart and soul..
the days and nights are getting darker..
who would be there to hear my woes..

my desire to strive would be my downfall..
for i have tumble down and fall..

the period where i am really lost...
i just don't know how it all would goes..

2009-08-02T13:13:00.001+08:00

the hardest thing yet most tempting thing to do is to raise the white flag now....
cause this really seems hard and i am very tired about it...
i tink i should use the time to solve math question god damm..hoho
hmm what else to update.....
well watched hang over on fri with alex and aloy...still had a lovely afternoon on tgif...lol
the movie was awesome.. it was pretty crazy and funny...do recommend....too bad yee ping cannot come...lol....
spent the pass two days at home..wonderful....sat and sunday...two weeks like that liao..sux.
i'll go walk later.....and yes alone...
i want go city hall been long time since i went there..i always like that place marina square idk why..lol
in any case..
promos coming up in like what 40 days? as aloy has calculated it...take the j2 A lvl remaining days divide by two tahdah!....wonderful......
nowadays energy almost burnt out cause i keep thinking...many things...ok probably because i'm paranoid...or pretty much because theres a lot of be thinked.
looks like a have to embrace the next weekkkkkkk damm the cycle also ji tao very sian cycle..

come on.....come on....give it to me...
i cannot tahan already........

jordan peace out

2009-07-24T00:01:00.002+08:00

how far would you go...
dun noe...
sometimes...when life slaps you in the face....
when you reached the crossroads....
the hard decisions you make....
the strength and the courage to carry on with me...
the painful regrets or the sweet triumph you hold on to....
i'm very tired....
i'm just made this way.....
every single day...i asked myself...the very questions that haunt me every night before i sleep..
just how far will you go?

2009-07-18T02:04:00.002+08:00

TGIF!!! hell of a week...when lessons all start at full speed....god....it sian dao....
quicky need re adapt to the rush again lol...
anyhows celebrated tan shannon and emilyn b day..hohoho...almost everyone is 18 now...
i can see the club soon...
went swensens celebrate....so damm long we all reunited man....was a good day..catching up updating...pretty good i must say..
pics..

happy family...LOL

yes yes july babies tan shannon emx

shannon aar twist sia....hoho

lol happy boy no 1....

wee liang happy can liao....lol

and yea...pretty good times....happy birthday to the three again....good luck with everything stay happy dudes....

and so......did a bit of self reflection....pretty much need buck up for the second half now....
the j2s are fighting tough battles too....but part of this whole jc shit anyways....
i just want say i have faith in all of them.....they all pack mean puches ok....
work hard...just work hard.....

in the meantime...i also lazy to worry abt things...i just do what i want to do...what i have to do...a compromise... but still move forward....

have the glory i use to hold on to.....i can feel it beside me now...

2009-07-15T22:57:00.002+08:00

wah these days very tired......
everyday wake up...felt lik hit by bus,plane,tank so many things...
very stress physically and mentally..
very tired also.....
arhh.....exams result was quit ok bar...everything pass...
but 2.5 months to promos....tired......
very tired....wah...
so tired till cannot express my tired and sianess...
hoho....

oh well, might as well tackle everything slowly one by one.....
jordan whr got so easy crumble one....................

2009-07-12T14:58:00.001+08:00

Can't let the music stop
Can't let this feeling end
Cause if I do, it'll all be over
I'll never see you again
Can't let the music stop
Until I touch your hand
'Cause if I do, it'll all be over
I'll never get the chance again

so many things to tell you...
but will you give me the chance?
before it all ends....
i love you.

2009-07-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

with friend like that who need enemies?

2009-07-02T23:14:00.003+08:00

yea
tmr last paper
woots
very happy
relieved more likely....
hohohohoho

well so far the papers i did lik ok leh
got chance to past....which is a really good thing
it would be better if i REALLY PASS
watch i love you man today.....
damm nice show...to build up bromance....LOL
ar well........pretty much standstill now...
just want to chilll

2009-06-22T18:04:00.004+08:00

it's been almost a week since the class chalet and i haven update....
might as well update a bit......

ok first night...7 people chalet...went eat then watch land of the lost.....very joke show....very random but it's good....then chiong till morning in the chalet...played indian poker...the bladder game....hold bladder like sick lik that only...lol joke.....

next day....bbq....slp till 1...can say sort of didn't slp.....kind of hard to fall asleep anyways....went back e hub....played pool acade...linger till evening bbq.....chit chat chill a bit....it was cool...
went home about 11 plus...

and the pics

friday....watched drag me to hell wif the peoples...
freaking gay...
shocking and dark humour...nicely done..love it.....
oh well...one week of holiday left...or thats what left of it anyway...
suck lar only guy in class tanking ayg.....but oh well...not much diff anyways..
beginning with shannon and gang wl and tan too...composing songs doing covers...
shannon complain need more guitar players...but i rly lazy learn...lol...tan and wl can do it...
maybe nick can do drums...hohoho....

study lik no tomorrow....hohoho

2009-06-20T02:04:00.002+08:00

sometimes....i have the most pain in the ass time with my own brain and the heart...dun u tink is real stupid?
the heart and the brain suppose to work together leh....not against each other you know..
logic tells me to stop...
feelings tells me to go....
this is insane you know...
how can people live with this.....
but...i really have to come up and decide which thing to listen to.....

it's very tiring leh like that......
sometimes it's just feels very full of shit.....
just when you thought....everything will work out...yea jordan....u might make it....this might work!
SALVATION WILL BE HERE....and then poof

it's all a dream.....
fuck you know....very sux one leh.......................who can take it you tell me who can take it.....
but i also know...reality is like that de lar......plus i am han hui leh...not some other guy or bloke..
whr got good things happen to me one.....
the dream ends...now....
make it painless, fast and quick for me....i dun tink i can take anymore anyway.

2009-06-18T02:05:00.002+08:00

in any case...at any more situation.
if i ever think that i could not handle it anymore......
i would let everything go....walk out...and never come back....

i have been wrong about many things....
and for the last time....i DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT STUPID AGAIN....
i will beat it.....fuck i willl

2009-06-12T02:38:00.002+08:00

well studying has really been super unproductive...
but i believe it will be improved...
at least im doing something all i have to do is go a bit more mile..
cover a bit more ground..
been reading a book by mr richard fayerman....it's real good..
his books very inspiring....his many interesting and funny adventure's with science...
i mean if u are not the nerd type...you would really like the book...
so it's pretty cool man...shld check it out...
really helps me to get more interested in doing maths and chem liao...( good thing)
oh welll at least this holiday...i feel pretty enriching bar...

alrights...to all mugging for exams..preparing for projects...doing quizzes...A LEVEL..i have this to say.....

it's hard now...you may feel you are breaking apart...time is running out...you haven study enough...then if you have time to worry about that and feeling guilty...might as well use the time NOW to prepare yourself....to practice to revise...if u say it's too late...it will be..
give it a shot...you can one.....break your own limits bar....we all cant be that weak....jia you people.....shall end with a roman quote...i love it very very fun...can apply for lik many things..

I came , I saw , I conquer.

2009-06-06T03:04:00.002+08:00

i really love to sing...
pretty much feels up my life..
like a bubble...
but now...
pretty much the only time i sing...is in the bathroom....
pretty sad life....
they say...it's like a struggling musician i am....
but i guess I'm not even fit to be called a musician in the first place......

i noe...i'm pretty much trying to be sour grape over here.....
but...it's really very sad....
i dun even have a chance to fight....of course I'm complaining
it's very sad...why didn't i join chior...y didn't i do this i do that...
i just end up complaining, consume by my own self pity....
and i really dun wish to continue doing that....
your are not good enough....
you are not talented enough...
you are just another person who is chasing that 'so called star dream'
you'll never make it big....

well i guess it's pretty true.....
but still....the music will keep me going....
MY music will still keep me going.....
even if it means i have to sing in the bathroom....i will still do it
and this time....if there is ever an opportunity for me...
i'll grab it and never let go.....
i swear....i'll continue singing...
i dun give a shit abt what the other people says to me anymore.....
if i cant even do what i like...
i might as well die......
music is maybe...the key to my life........

looks like the show has really just begin..
i sing...for me...for them...for you.

2009-06-04T01:22:00.005+08:00

wow weee...already Thursday already..damm it's fast...
oh well shall post about sam and ell's b day then....
on tue....went to play left for dead...wif xin yi, jing han, eugene, carol and xin yi's brother...
lol joke lar....we sure were damm noisy.....
later went to the mind's cafe play games....
the dinosaus bone one own sia...lol

here's some pics...

the birthday girls!!! happy birthday!!

i'm with the boomer......

after that went to this central shopping centre at clake...and u noe what u all did....

PLAY HIDE AND SEEK! LOL

qing wei and pam catcher the rest all hide...
i must say it was damm intense sia...joke...
we went all the way to the 10th floor carpark there hide somemore....went up and down from basement to lvl 5 back down and up....
thrilling man!!

we all damm joke really....

taking pics while hiding from qing wei...lol

after that went outside sat beside singapore river play polar bear...
but nt as exciting as the first time we played it at sentosa...lol...
but it was still good......

and after that left......

lur..........can't stop thinking about...you....yes..you....god dammit

2009-05-31T18:01:00.002+08:00

The strongest things that holds one together would be his friends and family...
it could also be the thing that breaks you apart...
i just want things to be peaceful it's that too hard to ask?
right now i may have nothing left...
but the final thing i would really want is the last piece of peace i could find.

2009-05-30T19:33:00.003+08:00

This week was mind blowing for me....
is like my brain jerk off blood like that....
sounds wrong.
anyhow, my eyes were pretty much open up.
it's like, you thought things are like this, they are NOT.
why everything has to be so complicated....
i am not going to be that stupid to fall into the bottomless pit now am i???

but then again...i just might be that stupid......
all i need...is one more week....one last week. and thats it.

all is love and lost.

2009-05-26T22:02:00.002+08:00

i dun believe no body need love at all...
somehow everyone needs a little....

somehow Detroit metal city rocks...
but all the movie no sub...i have to watch the anime version...same as the movie one as well...
damm it was funny.......whr the girl say FUCK wif a special tone......

yes very very fucked...
jordan never learns....
never....
but i will beat this...
i must beat this...
FUCK

2009-05-26T20:30:00.006+08:00

shall post about more birthdays i guess....
firstly...celebrated ting ting birthday on fri...woot!
went to maria square to get her present....den rush back to north point thai express to celebrate her birthday.....some pics...

i dun noe why i stoning.....joker.....

yes i stoning again.....

saying my prayers....lol

the WHOLE gang! so long never have such a reunion ler

happy birthday sexy!

and on sunday celebrated carol's birthday......
did a surpise on her....haha she sure was shocked....
went to sake sushi at park mall to celebrate......
pics....

loner clique..lol

twist.......oh so...

ah welll.....mid years....sux...
my mind cant stop...tinking...fucked....
i need divine intervention after all.....
I CANNOT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!!!

2009-05-21T20:36:00.000+08:00

And he lost his soul.....to a woman so heartless~~

yes it's really the coldest story ever told.

2009-05-18T19:31:00.004+08:00

well last week was a pretty fun week... celebrated eugene peter's b day..haha
went to sembawang to sing karaoke...the place a bit ulu but it's not hard to get there....and it was so much cheaper than k box....so much...

birthday boy......

the singing session wootttttttttttsssssss

basically everyone was screaming their lungs out during singing....it was super fun....haha enjoyed it so so much.

then later went to chijmes to watch soccer....haha man united won....slack arnd there drinking martini haha..

and after that went home....saw missy lee at bus stop..like arnd one month so see le lor....catch up a bit and left for home.........
was a spectacular day....

tired you know.....
and it will be werid if you know.PS

2009-05-03T01:28:00.002+08:00

found this on facebook as parveen tag it to me....
those were really the days....
come to think of it...2 years past already..
everyone probably leading their new wonderful lives...
and yet...
i still haven achieve my new year resolutions yet..
not a single one of them....
geezs.....i did read about a article on strait times...about Micheal f fox...he got parkinsons...but his pretty optimistic abt it...
his did say whether you are a pessimist or optimist it's in the genes...
i tink i got more of the pessimist genes....
definitely....
even qw dun wan see my blog cause it's too emo....
well i cant help it....

i got to promise...i must change....
really before it's too late....
though there is a shortcut to change...
but it's obvious....

2009-04-29T22:17:00.002+08:00

she's pretty when it's done that way..
she's cute when it's done this way..
she's sexy when it's done like that..
she's beautiful when it's done like this...
she's gorgeous when she's doing it...
she's hot when it happens....

oh my.....
it just got the better of me.....

2009-04-12T21:19:00.004+08:00

this week was a blast...
firstly 0909 celebrate my b day wif me....wif another april baby ying yee.....

then on thurs....0821 the usuals... surpise me at my house.....
sleeping half naked in the living room was really a bad idea....totally unglam....lol
ep was like gang up with nick and shannon so they noe my address and went my house to surpise me....totally surpised indeed...then went to the cathay to eat aston...woot.

and lastly celebrated wif the PEOPLES on sat!!!! went to cafe cartel to eat and watch the movie confessions of a shopaholic.....what they did was touching.....eat finish le one damm big cake came...and they all present me a scrapbook for the memoris of me....
touched alrite....

really thanks my friends!!!!!!!!!!!
finally i'm 18....woot..

2009-04-08T22:55:00.003+08:00

lol blog a bit super lag...cause no mood update....so might as well post about chalet and wat not......
yup had my chalet again woot! banzai!!! had my share of fun......i'll just post the pics....

tmr pw!!!! fuck if get D and below i go jump down

2009-04-04T01:32:00.002+08:00

WARNING....WHAT U ABOUT TO BE..IS RAMBLINGS THAT DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE...SO VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED....

the thing about being adolescence is suppose to be carefree and try new things am i not wrong?
but ironically while towards that goal.....we need to lik go one whole big fucking round...going though hell and pain to get what we want....some may get it in the end....some don't...and before u noe it...u realize that u might as well go back to the starting point which was better than what you are at now.....and hence...just who are you really trying to satify? youreslf? do you really think so? or is it ur shadow who feeds on your hunger who wanted more and more even more than your real self? just want do you want? what do you want to achieve? want do you want to satify? even if your demands are meant...it just grows....and the pains and price u hav to pay while getting it becomes much more....cynically i dun believe in the SYSTEM anymore.....everything and ppl assume thats the way things were......thats the order....we just follow and things will be fine...good for you good for me.....i dun believe....but does that make me the weird one? does tat make me the loser? or am i the only one the sole person who is real and the rest are just zombies? looks are decieving....but we all rather be decieve....
hohoho watever man.....
if i hav time sitting down here and type....i shld revise my chem which the test is on mon.....
i'm a failure.

2009-04-01T21:57:00.002+08:00

there are only few people i can depend on now....the rest are just nothing......
time does not matter when u make friends......

2009-03-22T01:55:00.003+08:00

lol went out to chiong these two days....
firstly went out wif the peoples....haha eat seoul garden....lol
been a bit long since we all met...

tdy met up wif the usuals...ep bella and carol....
watched mall cop.....damm joke.....
at least it made u feel good about yourself doesn't it?haha

and now watching a ch8 film...
very interesting...
the ways they do it in the 80s is so diff from now.....
in conclusion

COMPETITION IS TOUGH....
jordan will not stand a chance......
oh well....resign fate liao really...

2009-03-20T02:14:00.001+08:00

i dun noe how many time's must i picked myself up.....
it's really tiring......
anyhow....at least with my last dying breath of boredomness...
yay later go out chiong...
woots

2009-03-15T01:14:00.002+08:00

haha today pretty happy day.....
firstly went to yjc cause they got value day today...lik yss enterprise day...
pretty hype up ar...see so many stall sell so many things....
lol shannon performing wif this teacher singing the song always be my baby by david cook...
that cher rly cannot see....is totally OMG.....tone and beat deaf.....
after that shannon emo.....duh sad lar hur.....
after that went to their huanted house...shannon class organise de...
pretty scary i must say..wah got scared by the coffin one..the room was dark only got light stick then they sudeen shout came out to you....luckly still can handle....lol...

after that meet wif 0821..watch soccer at chijmes...
YAH NVR HEAR WRONG..I GO WATCH SOCCER...LOL
join in the fun mah~~ woot.....
lol plus nvr hang out wif benji they all wan..lol
haha...went to a pub sat down ji tao wait for game....
7 plus no ppl....
by 8...
full house......
they all order booze....
we guys ordered heniken...lol
ep drank a few lik drunk lik that totally ask weird question.....
wah over there can feel the manchester and liverpool fans sprit sia....
when the ball lik gg to goal all shout..
goal in also shout even louder...
evey yellow red card, offside, tackle...
lol it is quite fun to watch sia....
in the end man u vs liverpool 4:1....
benji ji tao sian diao
ep and qing wei happy lik....
then after that all went home......

woooooots....at least it cheers me up a bit..lol....
we shld do this more often..

2009-03-14T00:42:00.002+08:00

gave up fighting...
gave up competing....
lost my ego....
lost my pride...
identity gone....
dead and gone....

what of me is left...
is just my sticks and stones...

end my misery
end my pain...

living in a dream
which never wins....

mind is gone
soul is lost
body is torn

when the suffering will be gone?
i might even get numb to pain already....
so am i truely free?
or being imprison by the world which bound my soul......

2009-03-09T22:00:00.001+08:00

it was a humiliating defeat..jordanchung...
lost your pride as a........
oh well.....
we are all losers....
can i fucking start winning in life?

2009-03-08T23:02:00.002+08:00

well i cant even get the last piece of solitude i looking for......
oh well...this year has not been good anyway....so what the heck......
what pride what confidence what honer.......
i just study can le......

what friends......
what love.....
whatever....sometimes they don't really exists.

2009-03-04T22:55:00.001+08:00

i'm crumbling apart because there was no support........

aiya might as well crumble...

because...she has no reason to care anyway..

2009-03-02T22:55:00.002+08:00

hmm school is quite peaceful and a bit boring...
but i beginning to enjoy this sort of feeling.....
shannon once did say...hh once in a while settle down lar...lol
i guess so....feels so old......

haha now..i just want to sing my hearts out!! woot
been so long.....sometimes just reminds me the days of yss again..lol...
hmm though in nyjc i still cant find that sense of belonging
but at least i beginning to see it......
i still need move forward.....
gogogo JORDAN.....
i was once clam as the guy who made the impossible possible after all....
give me that magic again........

go jordan! super jordan!

2009-02-25T21:42:00.001+08:00

was a pretty fucked up day.....
but it turns out fine......
good to hav friends

2009-02-19T23:20:00.000+08:00

I don't need time, I don't need time
No, I can get by myself
I don't need time, I don't know why
The summer wind did not tell

I scrambled online and I know that I
Will never be calm and well
But I can get by in the meantime
By myself......

2009-02-17T22:32:00.002+08:00

going to school nowadays has just made me more depress....
cause i beginning to notice the gap and distances between things....
sian.......
nowadays i just want to finish my work and daydream in school....
cause there isn't much stuff to look forward for.......
oh well....at least today history lesson was interesting...
this kellet guy....
but i prefer mr sequria..for history....damm slack still can pass......
haix.......
empty empty empty...................................................
at this rate...maybe sat i gg to timezone and do a bloody insane and retarded thing if this keep up...
this is ridiculous...
of course....whats with the sane..without the insane
when the insane is trying to be sane.....
yay i'm insane

2009-02-15T02:09:00.005+08:00

valentine's to me this year is pretty much a dream.....
after all yet again no one to celebrate it with anyway...
it really fun when you are putting it effort and making plans and ways to make this day special for that special someone....
that rush.....that pump.....u get from the heart and the brain......
i walk today...and frankly speaking...it seems like the whole world around me, there are couples every where....it's real cold.....
yep....had to admit that.......
but oh well....i'm still looking forward for next year.....
who know's.....

even though it was a dream....it was a good dream....
i really thank you for that......
and i know...i had to wake up from it...

2009-02-11T21:15:00.001+08:00

chung han hui....you are a loser....really you are..

2009-02-09T22:27:00.002+08:00

i know theres no right to complain..but...
screwed.......last year class better......
this year...not so much......today first day of orientation...rolled eyes....
i feel sooooooooo small today.....idk why....
very out of place lar sunny boy.......
this whole week looks pretty screw to me........
already can see it coming.....
but aiya nw also studying only....
so...just study lar....

2009-02-06T23:58:00.002+08:00

this whole week of school hor..
is colourless lor......
rubbish lor....
and the past three days cannot sleep well lor...
go school even more sian lo...
keep having nightmare lo...
no one same class as me lo...
now like very stress lo...
this is stupid lo....
next week even more stupid lor....
wah liao...

like that hor...
jia lat sia......
very jia lat....

thats why in the game of baseball....if u dun safe..u kanna out lo...
u see lar..now out already lor.....
this sucks lor...
irritating lor....
ma fan lor....
sian lor...
sickening lor...
fuck up lor...
wasted lor
embarrassed lor
regret lor..
grim lor
end liao lor...............

2009-02-02T21:00:00.002+08:00

first day of school....
totally mix feelings....i felt quite ridiculous when i'm on the bus....
den reach i space i felt bored....
then this denise guy use the put ur happiness over ppl misery way to motivating us....
lol shuan the new jc 1s lik haha...
they dun noe what they in for........i totally like that line....god....
well felt pretty good being jc 1.5 LOL
den meet ep jh qw...my my felt good somehow....felt lik last time...but change a little....
well i felt pretty good to start this year...

2009-02-01T22:41:00.002+08:00

ha...tmr sch reopen...
after 3 long months...
damm this feels weird...
but i enjoy the holidays damm wellll
i guess it's about time to get back to what i'm suppose to do.......
this year...do it once....do it well....

2009-01-23T01:23:00.000+08:00

bored to death...
like totally....

god it sucks when there nth to do rly..

2009-01-18T01:44:00.002+08:00

ever remember the first time you have an ice cream when you are a kid??

the sweet sensation you get when it touches your mouth...

it fills you up and just make your eyes close as you wish your whole body could taste it...

while it slowly melts in your mouth...the rich flavor and it's creaminess....

while it cools you down and freezes your brain....something you never felt before....

the first time you eat ice cream....

wow just how long have i felt that.....

2009-01-15T01:46:00.001+08:00

happy birthday to nick and sophia for turning 18!!!!! i'll update the celebrations later..
arh 18...wat is wonderful radical year..

2009-01-14T00:56:00.001+08:00

i dun want go back school lar.....
argh...........

2009-01-09T23:37:00.001+08:00

i am a over sensitive narrowed minded over reacting mother fucker.....
ya this is rubbish

2009-01-09T23:37:00.000+08:00

i am a over sensitive narrowed minded over reacting mother fucker.....
ya this is rubbish

2009-01-07T02:30:00.002+08:00

the year just started and i hav many many concerns....
firstly....it's just total bullshit that i haven realy thought abt my future plans;...
i guess all that delaying has caught up wif me......shit.....
my holidays was like used to escape from reality...
but well it got to come back sooner or later....
poly jc? idk man......
i'm so stuck up now.........
i just don't know what to do with my life.......
thats's why it's just good to only be a kid.......
and i getting the mood of not studying already.......
it's a no wonder nw manay people rather quit school and start working....
cause they lost the will to study......
can understand lar at a point of time....
you get tired.............
and just lost the will to study le.....
for god sake i've have study for 10 years....
and it's just high school man.....
haix.....

the smell of spring is still not here yet....
i need to get my spunk back man......

instead of THE END.....

it's THE Energy Never Dies.....

rly a head on year...

2009-01-04T13:53:00.003+08:00

well happy new year bar!!!!! lazy update so till nw then update........
how did i spend my countdown?? went wan yu hse to celebrate wif the peoples...
eat steamboat celebrate together gather lor....some pics...

den started gambling...llol black jack and talk cock sing song again......
ton all the way till 7....rly first time i able to ton without sleeping.....
reach back to np already dead.....but went eat breakfast at long john....
we are the first customer in 2009 u noe!!!! lol......den left......to go home sleep.....

well 2008 gone...it was..quite a revolutionary year....

but i have high hopes for 2009 this year.....

i promise myself it will be a blast......

i hope we can still hang out more together leh peoples...

boh, nick shannon wee tan ling ting litong wan yu...

woots

2008-12-31T01:28:00.002+08:00

i think i just have a new obsession with Zooey Deschanel... she play the female lead role in YES MAN and also elf.....really like the char of her in YES MAN....and i guess shes pretty much the same in real life.....very bohemian...and she has that charisma......haix i like i like......

girls like that just makes living much much more colourful....muahaha

2008-12-30T12:10:00.003+08:00

well 2008 is coming to a closing.......and here comes 2009.......

what a hell of a year this is......

anyhow...5 resolutions for 2009.....

be an optimist
be more more more meticulous
got to be more hardworking like last time~
got to be fit.....so sick and weak nw......yes exercise...cut the junk....
lastly be more decisive......

and tmr new year eve party! woot........yay...
for now....off to work....aiyo.....

2008-12-29T01:11:00.004+08:00

shall blog about chalet den.....lol cause need wait for photos...hahax.....

a lot really happen.....

we play dare poker....true and true.....cycling..watch twlight...bbq gambling...sing song...mostly me and shannon....catching up wif the rest....damm it feels lik yishun sec times again! i like i like.....was really lots of fun......even the chalet room a bit small...but as long as everyone is there it just does not matter......lets hav another one in march hor.......time for pics......

haha holidays ending and ended for some....haix....one last celebration ppl.......one last bang...

2008-12-28T02:36:00.001+08:00

theres only one way to end this for me....

i really must either be a monk.....

or i am really going to be in a shitload of trouble....

which technically speaking... already am......

stupid..

2008-12-25T00:30:00.003+08:00

it's been damm long since i post.......so many things going on.,..shiok but very very tired.....

well first up.... my performance with yjc guitar ensemble.....lol

shannon kun one day call me and say..eh hh free nt?

i was lik?????

den he say wan me perform wif him as last item...i sing he guitar ( here without you )

took me a while lik gg to perform in two days.....but everytime we got practice tat song so ok lo....

At first....tot we are performing for some orphanage ......it turns out that we are performing for singapore yatch club roatery club x mas party! which was wow.....so weird.........
den...met shannon in his school...met his guitar ppl saw melvin....ex yss de...lol nw guitar president....lol....damm funny.....
after that went there.....went to function room perform...lol we got to eat buffet after performance...shiok....den practice a few times......den actually performance....suddenly they ask me sing felis lavida...i was damm improtu......but in the end still sing at last me and shannon last item acoustic here without you....woots....damm imba....no screww up...one take wonder!!!!!

but ironically after performance...the president of the club spoke to us....said thanks you good try..good try..shannon was damm piss yapping abt it from there till we get back to yishun....lol...but still ok lar..haha there de ppl all lik some sort of vip one.....( after all u must be either rich or powerful to be in a socialist club lik tat) feel so uncomfatable man......

den everything ends...everyone lik thanking me take part wif them lol....but aiyo...was fun lar....
den pack up go hm.....shannon had to put all the guitar case , stands ampifier at his house....next day i melvin shannon wake up 7 30 to carry back to yjc....damm sian...lucky shannon live lik opposite yjc....hahaha aiyo...weird fun exprience.....and the pics......

chalet x ,mas celebrations up next!!!!! meantime merry merry x mas!!!!! woots

2008-12-24T02:46:00.002+08:00

well a bloody well spend week last week and this week...
the performace and chalet was awsome!!!!
details next time.....

i think i know the reason....
i think i know why....
i think i can make things right...

2008-12-13T01:23:00.001+08:00

if shows like welcome to nhk is real life...then it would just be a better place....

i am an otaku....

but who cares...

as long as it lets me escape reality....

animes would just do fine

2008-12-10T02:43:00.002+08:00

this holidays sure is weird....
today i manage to find some old songs....
i mean old as in aqua and sugar rays songs....
remind me of my pri sch days
pri 4 espesically....
i always remember in the weekends my dad would drive me around sightseeing...and going to the beach....
always like the sunset....
and often i hear the radio in the car....
always seems the sugar ray is playing....
and i'll be reading malcome in the middle...
those were the days where holiday seems to be like a scarce thing...
the time of unlimited joy......
but time pass...
ppl changes..
i change....
and it's harder to satisfy my def of happiness...
after hearing those songs
reminds me of those good memories...
but recent years....
i don't remember having much good memories.......
where was that dream u wish u had like yoh in shaman king...
to live a carefree life?
haix......but at least i realise nw what it's missing.....
it's the mentality tat you will learn and do something new and exciting everyday....
welll.......left one month plus...
i'mm gg make full use of it

2008-12-08T00:46:00.002+08:00

shit lar......
21 22 23 chalet date
take leave on those days
means
christmas
new years eve need to work
kao
i totally screwed......
and some idiot impersonate as 'ling'
wah i also damm stupid believe she change number
really useless sia....
but i'm not dumb either
profiler u noe......
knew stm amiss....
so to that 'weiling'...
go fuck yourself ......
u screw wif the wrong guy man........
whoever u are.....

2008-12-04T00:57:00.003+08:00

i am so freaking tired that i cant move to bed....
i can feel the tiredness through my bones....just when i tot the job was slack....
today everything just goes wrong...
there were only two people at the counter...
me and farhan..
and we are suppose to run the whole bloody store...
picture this...
it's the start of new opening so there are bound to be people...
and for two people this whole shit is happening...
you got around 5 customers waiting to top up their card....
there will be another 2 who would want to redeem prizes....
there 1 will complain that the machine has problem ( because all the machines are bloody new)
another 2 will complain that they put coins into the machine and does not work ( you dumb fuck...u suppose to swipe with the card this is timezone fuckers...)
another one person every 30 mins will wan to change to gold card or the plastic one....
are this shit happen every 5 mins....
and the whole shit happened..
i was careless made a mistake....
because so manay thing was going on...i made mistake...
i top up two empty cards for 40 dollars..
and no one acknowledge the card...
i and farhan was bloody puzzled..
why the fuck there are two cards that no one claim wif 40 dollars in it....
that was the shit i was in for...soon before i know it...
it seems lik i switch everyone's card....
due to the top ups the transfers the redemption...
and the people just keep coming up....
after undoing the mess.....complains wif the machines came...
since idk how to fix yet farhan was running around fixing the problem...
and i was dealing with the whole bloody timezone alone...( the rest of the staff was organizing stuff from old time zone)
so basically i got fucked up real bad...
yup...fucked...
den i notice i did not top wrong for some....phew...
and next thing u noe...
the total money did not telly...
cause the computer already recorded the total amt of money in and out...
at first 14 dollars short...
i was like shit big time ( means i must pay on my own )
after recount manage to find out that there were 10 one dollar coins did not count
so as a result 4 bucks short...
had to cover up so i pay...= arnd one hr of work =(
nvm at least not 40 or stm...god.....
after that clean up shit....
and i learn something today....
when you in doubt...just ask someone if i handle it on my own sure fucked up....
always ALWAYS do every single thing one at a time....no matter how manay ppl are there no matter how many complains you get....u bloody do them one by one...dun get confuse dun get lost....
and for god sake dun fucking careless ar...i'm sick of myself being carless it's fucked up
fcuked it's the thrid day...
but at least
i'm learning...
that a damm good way train myself...
and there was this particular ppl i wan highlight.,...
this joker
redeem things every one time in 2 mins..
cant u redeem one shot....dammit...
this kid i wan to argh
every 5 mins ask me questions
i am like losing arms and legs here ppl....
this is y i rather sweep and clean the whole day than be at counter...
anything happens blame the counter...
shit man plus i'm the ONLY guy while farhan was mantaing machines...
rly need thank him without him i ji tao rly die....
2 ppl aganist the whole
we are such lonely gunmen...

handle one things at a time...
you implusive bastrad..( me)

2008-12-01T23:48:00.002+08:00

today first day of work....lol can handle lar...but it's start to ache...
and time is really relative when you work.....
time ji tao goes so slow....super slow.....but lucky i was kept busy.....
lol jh ep and qw came.....yes i very touched...lol.....at least i was not that bored.....
tmr work full day.....cause need shift stuff to new timezone.....
si bei jia lat.......i might die....
but i will survive......
after all next week pay day liao...so fair enough...
2 facts...
No one...i'm the only guy working there..i think....so i every iso de...
No 2.....after closing hour i can play for free...woot........

2008-11-29T01:26:00.002+08:00

came across a interview of Daniel Radcliffewith jonathan ross where he talks about him being in a musical play of equus which was rather strecthing the limits of acting you noe...this was like what he has to do in the play....
he was naked all down to the hair...
he had to (act) to screw with a horse and wif a girl...in front of like many people...
i mean for acting to be able to go that far....it is wow....weird in my pov...but impressive...
and he is challenging something, a play totally different from harry potter and it did pretty well....
got to say no wonder his good lar.....
oh well at least nw got something to do...not so bored at home le...haha working at timezone...lol
and the days are getting better.
looking forward for chalet now.......
and shannon...maybe we can post something on youtube...lol like doing a cover of songs....
tat would be sweet...

2008-11-27T23:32:00.002+08:00

i wonder how did wl and tan can endure six-eight months of self revision for o levels..
which means practically they everyday free ar....
it's only been 3-4 weeks and i'm dying literally...
oh well tomorrows nt geeting any better anyways....
very grim ar...very grim..

2008-11-26T02:21:00.002+08:00

nth much to do....might as well blog...tehee....
spam the whole afternoon youtubing....god...i keep watching nigahiga videos....no wonder his famous.....heard they got a movie coming up...saw the trailer...with that wat the buck guy....lols...
much better than kelvinjumpa i guess.....oh well...saw this harry potter puppets wif the ticking sounds vid..very cute....
and yes...i rly lik daniel crag blue eyes....
and shannon i wan to borrow than biography of his tmr..idk what u tink if i'm gay nt...i just like him...
ok as a professional actor...
nth else..rly...
went play bad wif tan and wee...
wee keep say all the bleach stuff...made me feel stupid..idk y....
i dun wan be mayuri can?
uruha is good enough pls...
meet sophia and she's working..but not being paid....(oh well it doesn't matter anyway..)
went shannon kun hse....
i also dun noe why the hell we are there again.....
shannon...haix.....
anyways...left went hm slack dota....
dota everyday...
pass 3 years
and i still noob....
guess it's the same...pretty bad at choosing heros...
always been bad at choosing anyways....wat the heck....
well wish chee wah happy b day....
can say now i know him better le....good lad....
see u all tmr......
and shannon learn that song fast can.......if not no guitar sound si bei tanjiat...
oh yes....si bei tan jia is it.....

2008-11-25T13:36:00.001+08:00

i saw this guy on south park..so i decided to check it out...

which somehow....it was link to steven lim....

came to a conclusion....
it's time for me not to rot at home....before i be like them....
later i go numa numa....

victim of my own scam...

2008-11-24T21:57:00.002+08:00

tdy played badminton wif ep jh and sultan....tired ar.......oh well tired easily...at least they noe yishun nt that ulu....

well listen to tons of japanese songs lately....damm nice....
their rock song is rely heavily on guitar....real heavy stuff....here's some...i like the guitar drift...if u noe what i mean....it just drift....

towards the setting sun...
with the heavy bass....

2008-11-24T01:19:00.001+08:00

chasing something that is not there...
and i'm on my knees waiting for the answer..
so are we human...or are we dance?

2008-11-23T00:38:00.003+08:00

well tired day....
meet nick shannon at 11...to see boh in see dragon boat racing competiton...lol
i sp supporter....not nyjc....hahax.....
when there...kao
the smell of 'men' is everywhere...
there are ppl with some serious issues of BO....god...
even the toliets i use there....i almost died.....
had lunch in mac...
taught nick and shannon how play bridge...LOL
but to tell the truth...learning bridge at first can be ultra complicating....
muahahahaha.....
after that.....
play dai di....
nick lar....say we end the game only one person win 3 in a row....
from 1 play dao 3 30.....kao eh
shannon finally won......(in fact he won most of the games....bull sia)
went out to watch race......
saw team ny.....lol saw vitoria...haha she wave back....lol
some pics....

then it was a usual gathering of 0821 at vivo....
at first suppose to be class gathering but a lot of ppl cannot make it...
guess the majic only worked once....oh welll...
went to merche....to have dinner...
was a layback night.....
then went home le.......

well i was right...yea i score but no prize...
i need to find words.....

2008-11-22T00:08:00.002+08:00

there are things i dun fucking understand.......
some jokers out there...think they can change the world...
but when they themselves don't even fit or dun even hav the caliber to do it.....
they can't even control or take charge their own lives.....
then what the fuck do they think they can change the world....
these jokers....they really should die....
it just annoys me....
to this ppl
FUCK YOU...
GO FUCK A GOAT.

2008-11-21T01:13:00.003+08:00

shannon was introducing to me about this classmate he has...
damm she is good lar....
the qualities of a performer was like there already....
she could do piano and has a major for it...played drums and guitar...
perform with the one republic before....
already got a contract with a company le.....( forgot as wif one...later hype ar EMI ..UNIVERSAL..kao)
and compose songs
and she singing....zhai zhai.......

kao sometimes i just think......
even if u am want to do sometimes u really like...but does not mean it will be something u really good at.....

aiyo.....i got a super long way to go......
living my dream? or just survive this harsh society....
arh fuck that.......for now.....just let me dream.....

never give up...never give in.....
may the fire burn.....