Sunday, November 20, 2016
Memories
I wonder if anyone looks at this blog and be surprised that there would be a latest entry in it? In any case.. I'm just trying to dig deep into the past and making sense of it all... so i can move forward. Ugh. A lot of work but nevertheless a work in progress.
posted by jordan chung at Sunday, November 20, 2016 - 
Thursday, December 29, 2011
I have no idea why i'm even here... but somehow... i am..
well since the last entry..it's been THAT long... i doubt anyone will come here anymore..might as well all the more i can blog about it and let it be a little pricate space...well since the last post..millions of things hav been happening.. i'm in the army..i myself have changed.. more of a realist than a pesimist now...but i guess it's pretty much all the same. On another note...today isthe 29 of dec 2011... marks the last few days till the end of the year.. it's really been a year of battling inner demons, hopes, dreams and stuff that's really personal... cause as i'm serving now...i'm basically on auto pilot mode, which i have a lot of time to myself. Honestly, i was really lost.. i could not find any future, any hope, or anything to hold on to as a matter of fact..i have no clue where to go.. what's the next move, what's the plan... it's always constantly on my mind..and so many questions..but little answers or enlightenment..i was always frustrated, always depress. However.. time pass.. i don't know when.. i got tired..tired of standing still, tired of being depress, tired of being lost..i want it to be where i used to be...full of spunk. full of ideas..full of hope. sense of where to go... i guess friends, family help a little..but mostly i think it's personal attitute.. i'm not really a fighter..but i'm not yet a quitter.. i'm still young, i still can learn, i still have determination.. and i guess serving does help a little.. it gives me some fighting spirit back.. well it still been a constant struggle out of being jaded, being depress..but things seem to be better.. everyday i'm finding new hope..things to pick me up.. little by little.. finding the strength to carry on..and living the moment..like a used to.
posted by jordan chung at Thursday, December 29, 2011 -
Saturday, January 02, 2010
sigh.
posted by jordan chung at Saturday, January 02, 2010 -
can't trust people is one thing...
but when you can't trust yourself...
it is so much worse....
the state i'm in now is very very bleak...
this is bad...real bad...
i can't even tell whether things are real, or just surreal...
tell me what to do......
i need...
posted by jordan chung at Saturday, January 02, 2010 -
Monday, December 28, 2009
they say...more people die in the holidays...for a fucking good reason...
this month...basically living in turmoil...for me...there is so much to take it in....i was bloody overwhelmed man.....and i must say...this year...i thought that a lot of things will be possible...but honestly...this year..was one of the most disappointing year i ever had...cause every year...you look back , you thought hey..at least i achieve something...but this year...no matter in what, studies..family, personally...i failed...i could not take the heat...though it was not bad....but it was very very disappointing... this year...i have to say like every other year...learn more stuff about myself...and i do manage to regain some touch that i once had...but not completely....this made me realize something....the road ahead is going to be very tough...with the a levels..it's going to be hell already. So...whatever this whole shit i am in. whatever this whole thing is going...i have to move forward like for real this time, i am still finding myself...but maybe just maybe..the picture becomes clearer..i do really hope for next year...i can break new grounds...found my lost self again...and win whatever that is i am trying to win...
the new year i really do hope something good can happen...
cause i don't think i can last anymore....all i am left with is this last ray of hope...
posted by jordan chung at Monday, December 28, 2009 -
Sunday, December 13, 2009
how easy does it take for anyone to say...i have nothing but hope...
it is too late for me?
or i can still open the door...
it's kind of hard when you are thinking like me...
posted by jordan chung at Sunday, December 13, 2009 -
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
splendid holiday season...everyone seems to enjoy themselves..
fuck the world.
posted by jordan chung at Tuesday, December 08, 2009 -
Sunday, December 06, 2009
this week was a speed bullet week..basically i really don't know what the fuck this week was about anyways..everything came in blitz..i it's really very hard and tired to take it all in..was i guess it was fun, well usually when everything is over and you look back, it really doesn't mean anything anyway..i always asked my friends to do so much for me...yet i can't really do much for them...
don't ask yourself what people can do for you, but what you can do for people...
i'll try my best and i won't let you brothers down.
sometimes...you just have to take the pain in...savior it..and enjoy the torture it inflicts on you. =)
posted by jordan chung at Sunday, December 06, 2009 -
